31 December 2011

Happy New Year

Piper Heidsieck Extra Dry Champage

Toby Cecchini wrote an interesting piece for the NY Times Style section last week on sabering a bottle of champagne with an eight inch kitchen knife. I'm not sure how that got through legal but I can just imagine the hipster element tonight...What a wonderful short film it would make. Keep in mind, if you lose your thumb it's very hard to open doors.

My drill would surely be considered boring but the 850 sq feet of my apartment pretty much demand it. I like Piper Heidsieck Extra Dry and have for almost 20 years. The champer's expert will tell you that Brut is the way to go with Extra Dry being too sweet -- Maybe.

But the PH Brut is too severe for me. Like one of those rail thin women lunching at Swifty's whose eyebrows are attached to the ceiling. Meanwhile the Extra Dry reminds me of Doris Day in 1975 telling Merv Griffin how much she likes sex. I'm not suggesting my deviant fantasy is any way to select champagne but it beats losing your thumb.

I chill it in a bucket with 70% ice and 30% water. If you're in a hurry, throw some salt on the ice. It's faster than a freezer and a lot less dangerous if you're forgetful. Which I am. I'm not sure why but I always think of Tony Curtis when I open champagne. The foil and cage are fairly straightforward but trivia buffs will be impressed when you tell them it always takes seven turns of the neck wire to free the cage. Always.

Now this important. Grab the cork with one hand and the bottom of the bottle with the other. Turn the bottom of the bottle but not the cork. While turning the bottom think of Doris Day in naughty underwear. Keep a firm grip on the cork pushing against the pressure. You don't want an explosion but rather something like a nun farting in a front pew. A short 'pffst' is just about perfect.

Pour into glasses...slowly. Replace bottle in bucket. Put on Que Sera, Sera and join in me a toast...

17 comments:

M.Lane said...

Fantastic! Same to you!
ML
mlanesepic.blogspot.com

Yankee-Whisky-Papa said...

Great writing! Happy New Year to you.

Amatourist said...

Thorough-ly enjoyable. Cheers and Happy New Year.

Sir Fopling Flutter said...

The NY Times article was a bit silly, but sabrage really isn't difficult and the instructions from the article should work for you. If you don't have a sabre handy, then the back of a heavy kitchen knife will do the trick. Just remember that (i) you will spill a decent bit of champagne, so best to do it outside (the skill lies in spilling the smallest amount, but you will always spill something), and (ii) the cork will go flying still encased in the neck of the bottle - so don't point it at anyone when you wield the sabre.

I wouldn't look down on the PH Extra Dry, although it's been a long time since I touched anything other than a Brut. I've been drinking a ridiculous amount of Taittinger and Perrier Jouet over the last 48 hours, courtesy of British Airways, although for NYE I'm drinking Aperol spritzes.

David V said...

Cheers! Happy New Year!

Main Line Sportsman said...

The owner of Le Bec Fin in Phila,...renowned chef Georges Perrier...often opened Champagne w/ a sword...and nearly always did on NYE.
Happy New Year and thanks for all the wonderful posts,pictures and prose in 2011.

Brohammas said...

Chris Cox over at Easy & Elegant Life did a bit on sabering champagne a long while back. I haven't tried it on ginger ale yet, maybe Martinelli's.

Happy New year Tintin.

LPC said...

You never disappoint. Que, as they say, sera.

TRVS said...

Bob Burke-Pot Au Feu, Providence, is amazing at sabering (Moet in particular)...I chatted with him at a wedding last year at The Federal Reserve, he's a scream.

http://www.potaufeuri.com/potaufeuri/Champagne_Sabering.html

~M.

Anonymous said...

HNY, TT. ME

Anonymous said...

Hey TT
Thx for a great eleven and best wives for twelve. I learned a lot from you and laughed a lot as well. Your ironic sense is very enjoyable.

Best

Fred

Jeff P. said...

Hotel November Yankee

Brummagem Joe said...

Sabreing is for cavalry officers in the Grande Armee surely. The idea of wasting any of that precious fluid in 2012 is an abomination.

Anonymous said...

I always thought it was 6 - 1/2 turns to free the cork...

greatzamboni said...

And if the cork starts slipping too fast, just think about baseball..
happy new year Tin, a joy to read you as always.

GSV JR said...

Penultimate 'graph: Tawdry. Hope yours was a good'un. Cheers.

Ben said...

You can't post this without including the video of Miss Day and Mr. Griffin. Now, I need to remain seated for a good thirty seconds before I stand up and refill my coffee mug.